Giddy Up.

So a little while back I posted some stories about a camping trip I went on a little while ago. From what I can tell from the stats, this was a failure. It was a long post that apparently nobody read. I understand this. I have the attention span of a dead goldfish. So I now present to you, the shortest, funniest story that came out of the whole entire trip. I only do this because you greedy bastards can’t feel good about yourselves unless you can put somebody else down. So here it goes…On the ride up we pass business band radios out to the caravan. No problem, innocent enough. That is until we pass a horse farm. Over the radio comes a request to drive back to the horse farm during the weekend to ride horses. Fine. Still nothing is that out of the ordinary. That is until I start cracking jokes about riding horses. All of the sudden over the radio I hear this statement, “I love fucking horses.” I turned to the driver, laughed and responded by saying, “You love fucking horses? You’re sick, you horsefucker.” And with that a nickname was born. I now have a friend that is referred to as ‘horsefucker’. Beat that assholes.
Strow

I have no problem making fun of myself.

As my summer of laziness continues I find myself filled with mixed emotions. On one hand, I have spent less time staring at my computer screen being angry. On the other hand, I seem to miss the twisted pseudo relief I occasionally feel by venting my frustrations onto the vast wasteland that most of us refer to as the internet. That being said, I feel slightly compelled to babble about some more insignificant crap. Unlike my usual rambling about someone else’s stupidity, this one is going to be about my lack dedication to my own brand of therapeutic crap.
Before I begin, I would like to issue this statement: This is in no way an apology. This is just being done to prove that there is a little bit of idiot in all of us.
I am upset with myself over the Coming Sooner or Later page. Most of the crap I post is more off the cuff. Some of the things listed on that page have been listed since the beginning. I don’t know what is worse, the fact that the page still exists, or the fact that people still check it periodically. I know I still update it from time to time, but honestly…The fact that it is called Coming Sooner or Later is an insult to idiots and geniuses alike. Which brings me to my point. Based on the pure and simple fact that the Coming Sooner or Later page has the potential to make people angry means I have to leave it up. Why? If you need to ask that question you fall into one of these categories:
- This is the first Insultants post you have ever read.
- You fail to see the humor in making people angry.
- You reached this page due to a random act of typing nonsense into your favorite search engine. (Do not worry. You are not alone, it happens on average twice a day.)

And last, but not least (also my personal favorite)…
- You are almost as smart as a dog which sits around all day licking himself. The reason I say almost as smart is because at least he is accomplishing something useful.

Now back to my own stupidity. If posting rants and making fun of people, companies and the media makes me feel better then why would I slack off? Well…Honestly, it’s friggin July. It’s hot and it’s humid. For some reason we all believe that this is a good excuse to be lazy. For those of you that work in this heat, you have a legitimate reason to be tired. I would like to take a moment to explain my current situation. My computer is within six feet of an air conditioner. I have the technology to make myself shiver while seated at my computer. This is stupid and unnecessary…And I wouldn’t have it any other way. As I sit here, indoors and comfortable. I will continue to use summer heat as an excuse of why I haven’t been on top of my game lately. Even though it has almost no bearing on the situation at all. And that my friends, makes me an idiot. Just like you.
Strow