Greatest Hardcore Band Names of All Time

Three days. Four Stages. Over 100 hardcore bands, featuring activities like “Pig’s-Head Volleyball,” “Fluorescent Light Bulb Sword Fights,” and who could forget the infamous “Inappropriate Use of Fire Extinguishers.” This was the event that started it all. It was here where your beloved Insultants gathered the inspiration to create their very own hardcore tour. You see it wasn’t so much the unintelligible lyrics, the angry dark youth of America, or even the ludicrous volume of unidentified bodily fluids that seemed to just hang in the air, as it was merely the band names themselves.

So without further adieu, I present to you “The Anal Sunshine Tour/Fester/Feasterhole” brought to you by the Insultants. We had many bands to consider for the tour, given that together we compiled over six pages of potential band names. That being said, here’s just a taste. It might help if before reading each band name out loud, you, in your best Axel Rose say, “Ladies and Gentlemen…We are (insert band name here) !”

BLOOD FART
BROWN EYE FOR THE DEAD GUY
SPHINCTER CULT
LIQUID NEWARK
SHART ATTACK
GODZILLA’S HORSE APPLE
LUCIFER’S SKID MARK
JITT FLICKERS
NURSING HOME TRASHCAN
FRUIT OF THE DOOM

As always we would be more than happy to review any suggestions you wish to submit.

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