A tribute to shitty private-school educators, Starring: Headboy, Son of a Bitch, and the Bitter I.T. Guy.
Headboy: F.Y.I…. Post Office is closed
Son of a Bitch: Uh yeah dipshit. It’s a Holiday
Son of a Bitch: Yep. Dr. King dude.
Headboy: The fight promoter?
Son of a Bitch: No dude…That’s Don King
Headboy: Wait, are you trying to tell me that they created a holiday for da old guy wit da big shoulders and da suspenders.
Son of a Bitch: Larry King? What are you retarded?
Headboy: Oh as in “have it your way.”
Son of a Bitch: That’s Burger King asshole. You can’t be serious.
Headboy: No, I know. I kid. Hell of a tennis player though.
Son of a Bitch: Who?
Headboy: Billy Jean King
Son of a Bitch: (Open mouthed, just glares at Headboy)
Headboy: Na dude, I’m just fuckin with ya. The Pharaoh right.
Son of a Bitch: That’s King Tut.
Headboy: (Closes eyes and begins to hum a familiar Elton John tune)
Son of a Bitch: What? No… No! That’s the Lion King fuckface.
Son of a Bitch: And no, before you even say it, he didn’t scale the Empire State Building while taking heavy fire from biplanes either.
Headboy: (Pauses and nods as shit eating grin emerges) Had you going didn’t I? C’mon dude, you’ve seen my Blues collection. I own every one of his albums.
Son of a Bitch: B.B. King! Took ya long enough!
Headboy: (Laughing) You should have seen the look on your face. (Walks away, but not before giving Son of a Bitch a “good game” ass pat)
Bitter I.T. Guy: Did that really just happen?
Son of a Bitch: Yep.
Bitter I.T. Guy: You really going to let him go on thinking that today we’re celebrating the accomplishments of blues legend B.B. King?
Son of a Bitch: Yep pretty much. Besides, that was the closest he came to being right.
###Work in progress. Please continue this diatribe of retardedness, in script form if possible, under the comments section of this blog.