Don’t Make Friends at 3:15am.

For starters let me set the back story. There are going to be some things mentioned in this story that might not be familiar to all of you. I’m gonna lay out some definitions first, then if need be you can refer back to then as you see fit.

Connie’s = Connie Macs Irish Pub
Roney’s = Smallest 24hr diner know to man. Seriously it’s a coffee bar that has a full diner menu. The building has less square footage than a shipping container.

OK, here it goes (this is gonna be fun, I’ve been drinking). I went to Connie’s to get some beer tonight. Big surprise. I ran into Justin. We closed the place then went to Roney’s to eat. No big deal. We’re just about done eating (there are two other people in the place, one of those two is the waitress/cook). Person number four, who will be called “dude” from here on out, decides that Justin and I need to know his criminal record, family history and any and all possible allergy problems. He was a very nice guy, but he decided he had to continually tell this story about how he had gotten a ticket earlier that night for taking a piss in public…in Glassboro. We proceeded to try and explain to him that Glassboro was a college town and he probably would have gotten a ticket for farting in public. Dude goes on to explain him and his boys were leaving a bar. Here we go again. Big surprise. Dude continues on with this story which ends at some point in time with him explaining that he didn’t even go there to drink he just went to sell his boy some pot. By this time I was already finished my meal and ready cut my own throat with a duller-than-a-spoon butter knife. Why? Because I had had enough. I wanted to go home. I was out of coffee and I was out of food. I guess the moral of this story would be (there are several).

Don’t stop and take a piss at random in Glassboro.
Don’t talk to drunk strangers.
Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know at 3:15am just because they might not stop talking…ever.
If you are going to sell pot, make your friends pick it from your house.
And last but not least, if you see a hobo. Kill him.



5 Responses to “Don’t Make Friends at 3:15am.”

  1. 1 Floss March 28, 2008 at 09:21

    F that dude. I love Roney’s so much. I want to have a picture taken there while I am wearing a 50’s diner waitress getup. With big hair. And saying “Kiss my grits.”

  2. 2 Headboy March 28, 2008 at 10:04

    Don’t have people come to your house…. that’s like a giant neon sign…… go to their house…. just you walkin in doesn’t look wierd, you with a line around the block because you got the dank shit is a little suspicious

  3. 3 insultants March 28, 2008 at 10:09

    *Editor’s Note*
    Dude lived in Camden, and I didn’t ask about the quality.


  4. 4 dont talk to that guy April 4, 2008 at 11:49

    first off Roneys?… if your hungry I think I have some left over corn in my turds dude!
    I’ll even give you a toothpick to pick the kernels out with.
    I didn’t even think you were friendly enough to talk to someone you knew at a … restaurant …( again Roneys?

    Anywho I see in your future a number of job possibilities
    1. Walmart Greeter – since you’ll talk to anybody
    2. Pepto Bismol Ad Exec – … Roneys
    3. Dr. Drews Rehab Intern Sidekick – Pot Abuse
    4. Amazingly witty blog host that no one will read

  5. 5 Realtors in Woodbury MN July 17, 2013 at 06:15

    It’s actually a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

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