Child Safety Equipment…

It’s not just for the kiddies anymore. I have friends that are parents. I do not have kids. If I was to spawn, the child I would bring into the world would probably have some hand in the eventual destruction of life as we know it today. Not in that George Bush I’m going to start WWIII kind of way, but the biblical apocalyptic style…you know what I mean. Plagues and such.
I tend to get away from a topic. Fast.
So baby proofing can get out of hand. I will not blame the manufacturers. They are trying to make a buck. I blame the parents. Now I’m not saying go buy the crib that may strangle your kid. What I am saying is let them take their damn lumps. Just last night I watched my friend walk nut bag first into a child safety device. The door which is to tall and to complicated for a child to work, is apparently at the right height to sterilize some adults.
Side note, he is not allowed to procreate either. His child might come out with their brain the size of a peanut…and located in his/her left foot.
After watching him roll around on the floor in pain for a while and then regaining my composure I realized something that just struck me as totally stupid. My parents weren’t so safety conscious that they sanded all the sharp corners into smooth nonviolent surfaces. Let your kids take some lumps. If you don’t they are going to turn out like that freakishly female dude on YouTube that thought a video of him sobbing like a wuss would get people to stop making fun of Britney Spears. Never put any stock in some one who’s initials are BS.
All I am saying is this. Keep your kids safe, but not at the expense of your privates. Let them take a few shots here and there through the years. If you are going to beat them, leave no visible marks. Oh yeah I almost forgot the most important one, keep them away from your neighbors. Chances are good that one of them is a registered sex offender.



2 Responses to “Child Safety Equipment…”

  1. 1 HEADBOY April 12, 2008 at 13:29

    I think it was my doctor…..but it should have been my parents…..that dropped me on my head. My parents did make me play in traffic though

  2. 2 insultants April 12, 2008 at 13:50

    They would have had to drop you on your head. If they just put you down, the weight of that giant skull of yours would have broken your spinal cord.

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