Tasteless Toasts

I’m sure at least a few of these are not at all foreign to you. You probably know some of them, or half of one and you can never remember the rest of it because you’re already bombed. Well here is just a little archive of some dirty things you can say to people in a bar. Not only will they not get mad, they will clink their glass and smile. Well, somebody will probably get mad. Especially if you’re holding the microphone as some body’s wedding reception.

Here’s to the breezes that blow through the treeses
That lift girls’ skirts above their kneezes
It reveals a spot which is so hot
It teases, it pleases, it spreads all diseases
God what a snatch
Down the hatch

Here’s to the hole that never heals
The more you rub it the better it feels
And all the soap this side of hell
Won’t wash away that fishy smell

Here’s to Hell
May my stay there
Be as much fun as my way there

Here is to being single
Seeing double and
Sleeping triple

Offer her your honor
And if she honors your offer
Get honor and offer all night

Here’s to honor
Get on her
Stay on her
And if you can’t cum in her
Cum on her

Here’s to the girl with the little red shoes
She loves her nookie, she loves her booze
She’s lost her cherry, but that’s no sin
She’s still got the box the cherry came in

Here’s to you
Here’s to me
Best of friends we’ll ever be
But if we ever disagree
Then fuck you
Here’s to me

Time is never wasted
When you’re wasted all the time

Here’s to those that wish us well
All the rest can go to hell

Here’s to those who sit when they pee
We love ‘em in leather
We love ‘em in lace
But we love ‘em the best when they sit on our face

Comments in the form of more toasts are welcomed.


19 Responses to “Tasteless Toasts”

  1. 1 Dan Hvalica February 8, 2015 at 10:40

    My grandmother came out with a rhyme once – we were all so shocked I never thought to write it down. Now she’s passed on, so I was hoping maybe somebody here might’ve heard it and can fill in the blanks. It starts with “Here’s to the girl with the store-bought clothes…” and ends with “…and topped with a hat just two inches tall. Her poor little pussy paid for it all”.

    Can somebody fill in the blanks?

  2. 2 pr-centre.com July 11, 2015 at 10:15

    This article will assist the internet viewers for building up new blog or even a weblog from start to end.

  3. 3 Brandon February 5, 2016 at 19:22

    -Two on her, four in her. If you can’t cum in her cum on her

    To raddle snakes and condoms two thing we never fuck with

  4. 4 釧路市 セフレ募集 November 30, 2016 at 06:04

    Hey there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering
    if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so
    I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  5. 5 Dani May 6, 2017 at 22:52

    “Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…
    If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend.
    If you’re going to cheat, cheat death.
    If you’re going to steal, steal a heart.
    If you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

  1. 1 gagner de l1899argent aux machines a sous Trackback on November 11, 2014 at 08:22

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