The Pros and Cons of Unemployment

Pro: You have the time and freedom to do what you want, when you want to.
Con: You do not have the money to do anything.

Pro: You can do odd jobs for people to make good old fashion tax free money.
Con: You spend most of your time helping friends. You subsequently get paid in beer and pizza.

Pro: You have plenty of time for masturbation.
Con: You spend so much time looking at internet porn that you forget to keep looking for a new job.

Pro: You can begin drinking at noon on any given day.
Con: You are in bed by eight and then wake up at midnight. You then realize that you will not get back to sleep. You then return to the bar you were at twelve hours ago. You can rationalize this by pointing out that you weren’t there twice on the same day.

Pro: You can watch ALL the TV that you want.
Con: There is only crap on, and you watch it anyway. This makes you feel guilty and like an idiot.

Pro: You can sleep in everyday.
Con: You drink every night…because you can sleep in the next day, no matter what.

Pro: You have more time to spend with friends and family.
Con: They are at work.

Pro: You can culture yourself by reading books.
Con: You waste all your time reading dirty magazines.

Pro: You can go outside on a nice day and just enjoy the weather.
Con: You have to watch people drive by all day long in their nice new cars…On their way to their well paying jobs.

Pro: You you feel as care free as you did when you were younger.
Con: The phone is ringing because your care free ass isn’t paying bills.

Pro: You can get things done around the house that you have been putting off for months.
Con: You have absolutely no motivation to do anything.

Have a nice day at work. Or not…

Oh yeah by the way, your taxes are due today.


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