Everytime You Speak, I Die a Little Inside.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to get through a whole day without wondering how some people have actually survived in a functional society all these years? I do. I wonder everyday. Idiots are making my life miserable. When I get up in the morning (or afternoon) I’m afraid to leave my house. Not because I have some severe disorder or horrible allergies, but because I will inevitably encounter an idiot. I will not only see them act like an idiot, but I will have to interact with them for some reason. I have heard from some people that I can be offensive. No shit. Thanks for pointing that out. What bothers me is when people feel the need to explain that I have “No Filter.” As much as I hate to admit this, those people are right. It didn’t used to be this way. Somebody used to do something stupid and my response would be to chuckle a bit quietly and go about my day. Now I feel the need to laugh at you hysterically and point it out to everyone within a three mile radius. If you’re an idiot you deserve to be made fun of, constantly. You cause me a lot of stress, anger and headaches because I have to deal with your dumbass everyday. I will need to go somewhere, or buy something, pretty much anywhere in public I am bound to witness astounding stupidity. This affliction is not confined to race, creed, or even age. It is the general population that is out and about that is the problem. Here are a few things that have recently made me want give myself a lobotomy;
– Drivers that have no idea why we refer to the left lane as “the fast lane”
– People that don’t know how to use an ATM. If you don’t get it, turn in your damn debit card and right a fucking check. If I see you standing in line holding a checkbook, I am still mad, but I am not surprised. When I see someone insert a debit card into an ATM I have an expectation. I expect they know how to use the damn ATM.
– People in bars that have no idea what they want to order until they have already wasted 5 minutes of the bartender’s time.
– Drivers that don’t use turn signals. Hey douche bags, I am not a mind reader. Inform me of what you are going to do before you do it, not while you’re doing it.
By the way, I do not suffer from road rage. I am constantly angry with idiots, not just when I’m driving.
– People who bitch about the fact that they are overweight, when they are indeed not. Stop fishing for pity compliments. The are awkward and meaningless. Just like every relationship you have ever had.
– People that feel the need to point out I am offensive. I know I already said this, but I guarantee some idiot has already forgotten that point.

I’m sure some of you with an average, or above average IQ are wondering why I would want to lobotomize myself. For the morons, a lobotomy would destroy part of my brain…”Hey wait a minute wouldn’t that make you an idiot?” Said the dumbass. Yes it would make me an idiot, just like you. That is the whole problem with being stupid. It’s not like cancer, where you are aware of it an can actively treat it. Stupidity is not visible to the stupid. Idiot’s don’t know they’re idiots unless you tell them. By the way, after you tell them. They will still be to stupid to do something about it.
In conclusion, yes a lobotomy would make me an idiot. But from what I can tell I will stand to gain one substantial attribute…I will no longer be annoyed by other stupid people. I won’t be able to tell if they are dumb anymore. That my friends, would make me happy.

I hope today is the day you don’t have to have a close encounter with an idiot.


1 Response to “Everytime You Speak, I Die a Little Inside.”

  1. 1 pKay April 25, 2008 at 07:43

    Yeah, people that don’t indicate are annoying… theres a reason why there are so many accidents! (apart from speeding, drinking and drugs of course)

    Anyhow funny read, keep up the great work!


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