To Err is Human…

To blow stuff way out of proportion is News. If you have been anywhere besides under a rock, you have probably heard, seen or read something about these following items:
– Rachael Ray
– A Black and White Scarf
– Dunkin’ Donuts

Listed separately, these items are about as harmful and imposing as a bunny with a loaded pillow. But mixed together with a coffee advertisement, Pamela Gellar and Michelle Malkin suddenly we have a Molotov Cocktail full of fail and jihad. Hey look. Rachael Ray is wearing a black and white scarf. She must be a terrorist. Dunkin’ Donuts must be promoting hatred. I don’t know about you, but last time I was in Dunkin’ Donuts I didn’t see things like this on the menu:
– Nuclear Arms
– Blood of the non believers
– Racism
– Hatred

Things I did see on the menu:
– Coffee
– Donuts

I guess we are now going to have to ban black and white scarves. Not that I even own a scarf…Wait a second, let me go double check that.
*Five minutes later.*
Nope, I don’t own a scarf.
I just demonstrated more fact checking skills and journalistic integrity in five minutes than most US news agencies. Back to the insanity at hand. Next up, we are going to have to suspend kids from school for wearing black and white scarves. Old ladies are going to get beat trying to grocery shop because their scarf might possibly resemble something that could somewhat/maybe be tied to some sort of terrorist type of clothing. Now I understand the power a symbol can carry. A swastika for instance. If you see somebody wearing a swastika on an article of clothing, you have a pretty good idea on where they stand. But that is the point. They are wearing a swastika. Not something that looks like or resembles a swastika. If I am standing in front of you and pointing my finger at you, and you are looking right at me, you can clearly see me pointing at you. Now if there is somebody fifty yards away, peeking through their blinds at an awkward angle behind me, they might see me giving you the finger. But I didn’t, so I’m not going to apologize for flipping you off. I should apologize for pointing at you, because that is also rude. Sorry. Moving on.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it might just be a scarf. Or even a terrorist. Dunkin’ Donuts is in the business of selling coffee, not jihads. Jihads usually aren’t profitable. If you kill all of your enemies, you can’t sell them anymore coffee.


6 Responses to “To Err is Human…”

  1. 1 Chris May 30, 2008 at 10:15

    Shouldn’t the current crop of Indonesian or Arabian owners of Dunkin’ Donuts be offended by this? Maybe in protest they should ear a black and white scarf to show solidarity against racism.

    Wow that wasn’t as funny as I hoped but ended up being way more thoughtful.

    Kudos to me!

  2. 2 KMac May 31, 2008 at 12:19

    This really has me pissed. A section of the US press now does nothing more than sit on the sidelines until they can jump on an percieved mistake, real or imagined, an spout their sound byte bullshit. It’s on both sides of the isile, in this case Michelle Malkin ( but in the past, Bill O’Riely, Keith Oberman and many others.

    But this is not the problem. Media blowhards are nothing new. The crazy part is that now other media outlets and cooporations are actaully listening to these self-appointed press whores, actively choosing who gets fucked next, and getting paid for it.

    From Don Imus to David Shuster to Dunkin Donuts, the central question is not why do people get upset. God knows on this site some of us revel in that alone. The real question is:

    Why Do We Give A Shit That People Are Upset???

  3. 3 Chris May 31, 2008 at 23:45

    I’m certainly not arguing that point in the least. It’s true that the old saying about “What Bleeds…Leads” is out the door and the media is not stirring the pot instead of reporting on the pot itself. The thing that opened the door for the media is political correctness. Now we have to sit back and watch sensationalism and over-reactionism (not a real word) take control of the news and the social consciousness.

  4. 4 Chris May 31, 2008 at 23:45

    I also blame TMZ.

  5. 5 sid June 7, 2008 at 13:50

    This is pretty fucking easy. The real shit, the stuff that would infuriate us is not so cut ‘n dry. They hide that shit, fuckin’ burry it in stupid bullshit. And if you’re inclined to do what you feel is your patriotic duty as a God fearing American, and become informed as to what’s REALLY going on don’t bother trying to tell anyone because you’re liable to be labeled an unpatriotic godless conspiracy theorist liberal piece of shit communist terrorist. So what I tell those people is: “Have fun with you’re fear mongering you fuckers, I’m gonna go watch the Phillies game. Good luck with the rapture and all!” Then I just smoke pot and forget about the whole thing.

  6. 6 sid June 10, 2008 at 18:14

    Woha! I forgot I wrote that bro. Huhu. Killer. ‘N stuff. Oh my god, I am so fucking high right now zpiojfgq3590hg=je9b=-9etdsopibpvhjoibdpoibpdoidoidp[oba[ huhu

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