Why Can’t I Drink Before Noon?

So I got in at about 05:30 this morning. Awesome. I’m not a morning person so working the night shift just seems to make sense. But, for the second week in a row I have had to get up early on Friday. This has sucked. I guess it could be worse. Last week I was awakened to go camping. Today I went to Houlihans for lunch. I know that doesn’t sound exciting, but they haven’t opened yet so we got invited for a trial service. See also: free food. Our seating was at 12:00. Now I know that’s hardly morning anymore. But when you consider the fact that I actually only got a few hours of sleep, it becomes somewhat evident that I was more sarcastic than usual. Not just to the people I knew, but the people that I just happened to have to interact with. I feel sorry for them. I’m really not a bad person, but when I am not really awake and thrust into a social situation I become the most miserably sarcastic son of a bitch that has ever lived. My humor becomes downtrodden and callous. And before you even ask, yes. My humor has made people cry. When I am in a bad mood I become a verbal assassin. This is what took place at lunch. That piece of crap butter knife they gave me had nothing compared to my tongue. I tell this story only to make one stupid point. If you got insulted by me throughout the course of the day I am sorry. But I’m pretty sure you deserved it.
I guess I have two points. If you are going to be an asshole or a jerk off to your wait staff, you better know how to tip.
Get some sleep.


1 Response to “Why Can’t I Drink Before Noon?”

  1. 1 Jesus Aint Love You June 30, 2008 at 10:56

    well well well…
    as an expert in sleep deprivation, i can tell you that after 4 or 5 days of less than 4 hours sleep you actually can go from super grumpy mcgrumpenstein, to a sort of happy non caring mr agreeable.

    the downside of reaching this point is sudden bouts of dizziness followed by a sudden urge to throw up…

    also, with no warning at all, you can slide right back into axe murderer mode and literally chop off the fingers of babies trying to hold your hand to help you cross the street..

    so the moral of my comment is:
    sleep; it does a body good, but the unexpected is what makes life fun!

    now go out there and kill a hobo – i heard if you drink their blood, it keeps you from becoming one… or maybe it makes you one i’m not sure which…

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