So, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. A good breakfast is a solid foundation. Great. What about the first thing that goes wrong? Have you ever noticed that a crappy start to the day actual leads to a crappy day? I’m not talking about the superstitious stuff. I’m talking about when the first hour of your day is just one giant pile of crap. Thus, setting the tone for a day full of you being shit on at the cosmic level. I am talking about those days when it feels like the the universe on a whole doesn’t want you to succeed.
09:15 – You wake up fifteen minutes later then usual. There was a power outage at some point in time earlier in the morning. Some how it only affected your house.
09:17 – While getting ready to get in the shower you realize you’re out of shaving cream. Your razor is also dull.
09:20 – (The water in my house takes forever to warm up). Upon entering the shower and getting wet you realize that you are out of soap. You get back out and grab soap from the closet.
09:21 – Upon opening the soap you immediately drop it. This sets the tone for the fight against gravity which will plague you all day long.
09:27 – Feeling slightly refreshed you get out of the shower to dry off. This is when you realize that all of your normal sized bath towels are sitting in your dryer and have been since last night. You open the closet only to reveal a few wash rags, several hand towels and a bath mat. Your sense of relaxation now shot.
09:30 – When you try to get dressed you are confronted with the fact that all of your clean clothes are in a laundry bin down stairs.
Fifteen minutes into your day and the only logical end is suicide. Reality sets in that this day is going to take you out for dinner…at a fast food joint, make you pay, knock you up and then move across the the country. Never to be seen or heard from again.
09:45 – After finally getting dressed grabbing something to eat and getting out the door you find your driver’s side front tire low on air. This is because the tire has multiple plugs in it and you forgot to check it yesterday. Since you are already late, why risk your own safety? Besides, the way your day is going the tire could blow out and probably cause an accident.
10:18 – After driving like a maniac your arrive only eighteen minutes late. While walking into the building you ponder where the wormhole is on I-95 and how long it’s been there.
10:20 – Upon entering the office and greeting a few people you notice that the contact you were going to meet is not at his desk. At the exact same moment one of his employees informs you that last night he was told that he had to be at another facility first thing in the morning. Relieved you calmly and politely ask which one. The answer comes as no surprise. You just made a 45 minute trip in 32 just to find out that the person you have to meet with today is in a building within 10 minutes of your house.
All of this crap, and it’s not even noon. It feels like time slows down when you’re getting beat down by just about anything and everything. Needless to say the rest of the day didn’t go well either. Murphy’s Law was flawlessly executed without my consent. This day sucked. The only upside is that it will eventually end. On the downside, that means you have to do it again tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I can see the bright side, it’s going to have to try really hard to be worse.
I am putting together a proposal to have Mondays removed from the work week. Your support would be greatly appreciated.