Possibly the Dumbest Thing Ever Spoken Aloud

My hatred of the stupid is almost as well documented as my hatred for hobos. The stupid walk among us everyday. Some of them are lucky enough to get through a day virtually unnoticed. But, there are those that attempt to function in our society. I’m sure they are so dumb that they don’t think we see or hear them. Sadly enough we do see them, and we do hear them. My friend who I will refer to as Wu, not to hide his identity, but because that’s what we have been calling him since high school. Don’t ask why. You want to know because you’re curious. Stop and think about this for a minute, you will realize that you don’t really give a crap.
One night while Wu was out enjoying a frosty pint of PBR. He witnessed a not so unusual sight. A few bar stools away sat a guy and a girl. They seemed to have just met earlier in the evening. They were participating in the early stages of the drunken mating ritual. Being a weeknight, there wasn’t a real flurry of activity in the bar. To make it even worse, the guy who was talking is a loud person. He’s loud sober, he’s loud drunk. While catching random parts of their conversation, which by now has become somewhat amusing, he heard something that almost made him commit suicide on the spot. The “couple” got to the topic of military service. At some point in time during this exchange he overheard these words uttered:
“My Grandfather was in a World War. (pause to think for a few seconds) The most recent one. (another pause) Oh yeah, Two.”
At this point, all of the color left Wu’s face. He looked around and by the grace of God or Buddha or Satan, he heard someone else say. “Did you hear what that guy just said?” He was immediately relieved and appalled at the same time. Relieved that he isn’t hearing voices. Appalled by the fact that an approximately 30 year old man was not sure in which world war his grandfather saw combat. Let’s see…There were two world wars. Not hundreds. This should have been a easy one. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. We are all doomed. This guy has a valid driver’s license and the right to vote. Don’t get to angry about this, it will cause you great physical and mental pain. My advice, go do something intelligent to counter act what you just read. Or you could drown your sorrow in a cold beverage, just make sure to sit far away from everybody else.


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