Meteorologists and the black art of making up weather patterns.

The sun has pretty much given up on South Jersey. It was supposed to rain for about three days straight last week. Let me rephrase that.
The people on TV that stand in front of weather maps told me it was supposed to rain for three days. It was going to be lots of rain. They were as usual, wrong. Instead of many inches of drenching rain, we got a few showers here and there. Mostly what we got was gray. I have decided that I want to become an amateur weatherman. If the highly educated ones aren’t held accountable for what I can only describe as a pseudo-educated guess, there would be absolutely no reason to hold me accountable for my random statements about what is occurring in our atmosphere. The professionals say that it is going to stay cloudy through tomorrow night, at which point in time, it’s probably going to rain. How hard is it to predict this kind of crap? It’s been gray since the end of last week, of course it’s going to rain sooner or later. This isn’t London, it’s the Philadelphia suburbs. The temperature is staying within the 60s and 70s. If it’s gonna do something it sure as hell isn’t going to snow. I predict that tiny purple three toed sloths will fall from the sky tomorrow. And if I’m wrong, who gives a crap. You know I just made it up anyway. On the other hand, if it does happen, then I would be your new lord and master. Moving on. Weather forecasting should be a commission and performance based system, the more you get it right, the more money you stand to make. They should also run stats through the ticker. When I watch a sporting event they always tell me how the athlete has been performing. When I’m getting a weather report I want to know the percentage of the time the whack job on my screen is correct. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that weather, just like oil, banking and the stock market should not be based on speculation. You can see how that has bit us in the ass.
Strow

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