The Bum that wouldn’t Quit

Alternative Title:
Go be homeless somewhere else, preferably where the cost of living is lower.

So I was only in NYC for two days. I figured this trip would be reasonably uneventful. And much to my surprise, it wasn’t. One such interesting incident involved a bum that was pretty persistent. It rained just about the whole time we were there. Usually a light drizzle. So when we went out to dinner on Wednesday night, we walked. During the course of the twelve or thirteen blocks, I had about five people try to sell me cheap umbrellas. Makes sense to me. I also had about three people ask me for money, I am assuming they either needed to buy an umbrella, or more booze. But this one guy…He apparently really needed an umbrella. As we crossed the street, the light changed so we started to move a little faster. At the same time, this bum decided he wanted to ask my boss for money. So he also proceeded to speed up across the street. Now I was right behind the bum. He continued to follow and keep asking for money for about a quarter of a block. After absolutely no response at all, he stopped walking and turned around. Right in front of me. So I reacted in the most obnoxious manner I could think of on such short notice. I threw my arms up in the air and began making the most annoying sound in the world (see Dumb and Dumber for an accurate description of this noise) and just kept walking. He looked puzzled. I smiled, people laughed. And yes, I am very proud of the fact that I out annoyed a bum on the streets of New York City. He deserved it. He’s only one step above hobo in the food chain. That means when I eradicate all hobos, the bums are next.


2 Responses to “The Bum that wouldn’t Quit”

  1. 1 kmac November 10, 2008 at 08:55

    “He’s only one step above hobo in the food chain. ”

    Idea for future rant: What’s the difference between a “bum” and a “hobo”? I thought they were one in the same

  2. 2 insultants November 10, 2008 at 18:53

    Well the major difference is the nomadic tendencies of the hobo as compared to the pollution of city streets that the bums choose to occupy. But, I will elaborate in wikipedia-ish style post. By that, I mean I will make shit up.

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