I would like to take a moment to address some things that have been bothering me more and more lately. Here is the ground work, I am an astounding procrastinator. This is compounded by my ADD type of thought process. I don’t think it is actually ADD. It’s not that I have a problem focusing, in fact some of my best revelations and problems have been solved while doing something totally unrelated to the task at hand. I have a tendency to continue to think about an issue or problem even when I have gotten up from my computer and have declared myself done for the day. I’ll proceed to go make dinner, all the while wondering if there was a better way to accomplish what I had just finished up. This does work to my advantage, and if it sounds like ADD to you, then I welcome it with open arms because apparently that is the only way I know how to function.
On to my next three letter problem. I have what I would consider to be a mild case of OCD. I say mild because I’ve seen people that have it to the point where it runs there lives. I am not that bad, but my OCD has more of an impact on other people. My OCD type actions only usually annoy the people around me, not me. So take all of that into account, and sprinkle on a bit of paranoia. This is who I am. These are the reasons that you get random posts that move people to laugh or become angry and probably want to kick me in the nuts.
I am not normal. I am not alone. Most people that are considered normal are boring. So where am I going with all of this?
I’m glad I asked.
Politics. Yes, I know it didn’t take long to get back into the political arena, but trust me on this one. We already have a bunch of smaller parties in the system, that don’t ever seem to gain much ground besides being a grass roots type movement. So let’s try a different approach. Instead of using words like Liberal and Socialist, we use a gorilla tactic that will make the the media say we gotta find out who those bastards are and find out what in the hell they think they are going to accomplish. Here are a few ideas I’ve been kicking around for a new political party title;

Freaks for Freedom
Anti-Semitic Unorthodox Jews for Christ
Pornographers for Political Change
Vote for Us or We’ll Eat Your Babies
Free Cable for Everyone
Douche Nozzles for a Better Future
1.21 Gigawatts!
The Fail Party

Positions such as these will need to be filled immediately;

Sith Lord
Minister of Disinformation
Propaganda Specialist
Manager of Subliminal Advertising
Village Idiot
“Green” Party Liaison
Secretary of Making Up Statistics
Puppet Master

More positions will become available as support grows. All candidates will be drug tested. If you are not on any drugs, they will be provided for you if you accept the job.


5 Responses to “Confusion”

  1. 1 Headboy November 21, 2008 at 07:39

    the position of village idiot has already been filled…. you already know by who. I would like to throw my head into the ring for Puppet Master, but can we change the title to something like “Head of Animated Felt”?

  2. 2 insultants November 21, 2008 at 08:49

    No. I will not be changing the title to Head of Animated Felt. Although, the position does involve pulling the strings, there will be no actual felt like objects involved.

  3. 3 insultants November 21, 2008 at 08:50

    And yes, the Village Idiot spot was filled before it was even open.

  4. 4 kmac November 21, 2008 at 22:49

    I’d like to nominate Big Steel Toe as Secretary Of Disposible Digits.

  1. 1 Change. Hurry that shit up. « insultants Trackback on January 20, 2009 at 14:12

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