Arguing with a Sense of Purpose

There are many ways to start or end an argument. I personally enjoy one liners. They can be more effective than a paragraph of mindless dribble and they definitely bring the element of surprise if you have one at the ready. So here are some of our favorite one liners.
All of these are up for grabs. I am employing the ‘use it three times with a credit’ rule, then you own it. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the rule, the first three times you use any of these lines you have to credit where or who you got it from. After the third time you now own it.
Yes, I know it was self explanatory. Trust me. Someone will still fuck it up.
If you are easily insulted, turn back now. I have no time for you.

look like a fecal hand grenade exploded from your neck.
suck at life.
have the commonsense of a dead puppy.
make Corky look like Steven Hawking.
make licking Paris Hilton’s roast beef curtains seem like a good idea.

You are…
a waste of sperm.
a cum dumpster.
a condom error.
a sperm burping gutter slut.
a wart on the ass of society.
a wayward cum fart.
the 11th plague.
as useful as a holocaust.
the only person ever in the history of the world to be birthed anally.
a bitch. Put on booby tassels and dance.
a mistake.
a pox on the ass of society.

Random statements (if you just need to get out of a conversation):
I have AIDS.
Do you want to lick my cold sore?
By the way, I just shit myself.
I was Adolf Hitler in a past life.
I like to masturbate to comic books.
I voted for McCain. (Not to be used by white people of any kind)

I can not guarantee that all of these, or even any of these statements will help you win an arguement. One of the problems with these statements is execution. The delivery is extremely important. The situation should not call for the kind of verbal violence you are about to drop on your target. As a general rule of thumb, I also like to involve innocent bystanders. If there are other people around, drop your line at a volume that will catch some ears. This will leave your target stunned, and adds the pressure of having to respond at an elevated volume just to save face in front of strangers. Having already been embarrassed most people will bail, the fear of not being able to drop a equally harsh line will haunt them whenever they see you.


1 Response to “Arguing with a Sense of Purpose”

  1. 1 studio guy February 7, 2009 at 02:20

    i leave one of my better ones up for grabs:

    I’m gonna dip my dick in dog-shit and brush your teeth with it!

    this usually stops people dead in their tracks, the ones that laugh usually become friends… go figure

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